Great Sayings

We spend our days waiting for the ideal path to appear in front of us.
What we forget is that paths are made by walking and not by waiting.

...

X-pect more from yourself than others.
Bcause expectations from others hurt a lot,
while expections from your-self inspire a lot.

...

Sound becomes music,
movements become dance,
smile become laughter,
mind becomes meditation,
life becomes celebration when,
friends keep in touch.

...

Commitment doesn't mean sticking to a person when U don't have any option,
it means keeping a relation with someone when U have lots of options.

Girl Friend

Last year, my friend upgraded his Girlfriend 3.1 to Girlfriend Plus 1.0 (marketing name: Fiancée 1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiancée 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it's a memory hogger, it has taken all his space; and Wife1.0 must be running before he can do anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with Plug-Ins such as Mother-In-Law and Brother-In-Law.

Some features I'd like to see in the Upcoming Girlfriend 4.0...

- A "Don't remind me again" button

- Minimize button

- Shutdown feature

- An install shield feature so that Girlfriend 4.0 can be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don't lose cache and other objects)

I tried running Girlfriend 2.0 with girlfriend 1.0 still installed, they tried using the same i/o port and conflicted. Then I tried to uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 but it didn't have an uninstall program. I tried to uninstall it by hand, but it put files in my system directory. Another thing that sucks in all versions of girlfriend that I've used is that it is totally "object orientated" and only supported hardware with gold plated contacts.

Bug Warning: Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

A Good One

A keen immigrant Indian Marwari young man applied for a salesman's job at

London's premier downtown department store. In fact, it was the biggest

store in the world - you could get anything there.

 

The boss asked him,

“Have you ever been a salesman before?”

“Yes sir, I was a salesman in Rajasthan in India”, replied the young man.

The boss liked the cut of him and said, “You can start tomorrow and I'll

come and see you.”

 

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it. And

finally 6:00 PM came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, “How many

sales did you make today?”

“Sir, Just ONE sale.” said the young salesman.

“Only one sale?” blurted the boss. “No! No! One a day…. If you want to keep

this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how

much was the sale worth?

“Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four pounds” said the

young marwari.

 

“What”, “How did you manage that?” asked the flabbergasted boss. Well, said

the salesman, “This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a

medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sell him new fishing

rod and some fishing gear.

Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he

said down the coast.

So I told him he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat

department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines.

Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took

him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4X4 Blazer.

I then asked him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation,

I took him to camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6

sleeper camper tents.

Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw

in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer.”

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, “You sold all that

to a guy who came in for a fish hook!!”

“No” answered the salesman, “He came in to buy a box of Sanitary napkins

for

his wife and I said to him, “Your weekend's screwed anyway, you might as

well go fishing.”

 
THIS IS CROSS SELLING

Good Jokes

A couple had been married 15 years. One afternoon, they were working in the garden together. As the wife was bending over pulling weeds, the husband said, "Honey, your butt is getting big.

I bet it's as big as the gas grill now."

The husband, feeling he needed to prove his point, got a yardstick, measured the grill & then measured his wife's butt. "Yep, he said, "Just what I thought, just about the same size!"

The wife got very incensed & decided to let him do the gardening alone. She went inside & didn't speak to her husband the rest of the day. That evening when they went to bed, the husband
cuddled up to his wife, and said,

"How about it honey?" How about a little lovemaking?"
The wife rolled over & turned her back to him, giving him the cold shoulder. "What's the matter?" he asked.

To which she replied, "Surely you don't think that I am going to fire up this big-ass grill for one
little weenie, do you?"

....

This little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism.

Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her
the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call
you the People.

The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby
brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if
that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what
Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check

on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little

boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not

wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked,

he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.

He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the
concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words
what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism

is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are

being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."